SKIT

By Paula Bondeson

I might as well be talking to 22 jump street looking at you two

White boys driving a car with a hole in the back

Gross

That’s sad

Even I have a better car than that

The only reason you don’t is that you don’t try

I apply and I apply

But you sit there in bed and sadly cry

Your life away

TEMPLE

By Paula Bondeson

You don't hate your hair, you just hate the way you style it.

you don't hate your face, your just not used to doing makeup

you don't have the right products if you hate how you look

because everyone is beautiful if they take care of themselves.

I use Dior makeup for powder, foundation, mascara, blush, highlight, and bronzer

I use redken shampoo saks 5 th Ave and conditioner too

I use spray on whole body secret deodorant

don't just use that stick on shit it's going to make you feel gross.

take care of yourself as if your body is a temple.

buy yourself what you want, but know your break even.

i shop at topanga for Sandro and Prada

Dior is fucking nice but never buy first hand

Unless you want to waste your money because everything can be passed around

DEPOP is the best but some use The Real Real

I've never touched a product that I wasn't pleased with since I left my house as a kid.

when you beat me over the head so loud they heard it on the other side of the house

And my sister held me while her friend reassured that that kind of behavior can never be understood

that type of anger is something that leaves a mark

and watching my dad rip all of the pictures off the wall and run through glass didn't help

but then there was the part where we all blamed each other

no one felt at home

Not even my mother

Welcome to my journey

Life's a journey, and this is a part of mine. Join me as I share experiences, insights, and a little bit of everything in between. Welcome to Paula's Wxrld, where every day tells a story.

Happy New Year!!

it's so hard to love and be loved when you've grown your whole life abused and misused and mistreated from every angle you think of. But it is possible. I think it just takes a lot of understanding on both peoples part and the willingness to see other peoples perspectives over yours.

To be continued...

By my beautiful friend Gabriel Frankel

Count-in

One—two—go.

CHANT (soft, breathy)

Er-won boy…

Erewhon boy…

⸻

HOOK (MAIN — repeat x2)

Someone wise,

God in his eyes.

Erewhon boy—

kombucha high.

I’m swooning on,

Erewhon boy.

⸻

Yoga cute, linen loose,

sage on his hands, green-juice truth.

Sacred ink, a perfect line,

talks about breath like it’s divine.

Ass on my tongue

by the sauerkraut sun.

⸻

CHANT (lighter, teasing)

Erewhon boy…

⸻

HOOK

Someone wise,

God in his eyes.

Erewhon boy—

kombucha high.

I’m falling soft for you,

Erewhon boy.

⸻

I been busy,

I been good,

Now I’m getting in your pants

If that’s understood.

⸻

CALL & RESPONSE

Erewhon boy!

(how?)

Kombucha high!

Erewhon boy!

(what now?)

I’m the MILF by the tonic bar.

⸻

HOOK (VARIATION)

Someone wise,

God in his eyes.

Erewhon boy—

Gettin head by the shilajit,

Don’t you feel complete.

⸻

FINAL CHANT (slow fade)

Erewhon boy…

Kombucha high…

Swooning on…

Erewhon boy…

(you know.)

I’m gonna get you.

Paula Bondeson

DECEMBER 29, 2025

NO TITLE

I’ve got your name on my mind

Sadly it still crosses my heart from time to time

The way you held me down and forced yourself into my space

The way I screamed and called for help

But no one heard a thing

Then I stormed out the back house after you finally let me go

Somebody had my back that day he told you something that made you stop

We didn’t speak of the incident

Days and weeks passed

But I still knew you said something to him

I just didn’t know how to react

I left that day and went to church

I sat in the rows and cried

All by myself in a crowd of people

Worshipping something I couldn’t see

Praising the lord for saving my seat

And as I sat there crying

Something tugged at my heart

A love so strong that only God can provide

He called me out and he said come home

God said I forgive you and you belong in this room

So slowly I started leaving more

Eventually I gave it all up

I started running back to God

My one and only true support

Paula Bondeson

Created April 2024 edited DECEMBER 28, 2025

Silver

Silver tongue devil road down my street

He stopped for a while and stayed with me

But when it was over he didn’t want to leave

It brought about a similar feeling to that of 2016

Vans in the snowy sand headed towards defeat

I didn’t know where I was going but I knew the fate in front of me

Was there ever a time I didn’t need to medicate the raw feelings of being me

Walking through each day with pills sedating me

I said I’d rather die than live my life asleep

Addicted to anything that gave me some kind of feeling

My family felt I was easier to manage when I was under the influence of something

As long as I was quiet everything would be green

But the problem is I’ve never been quiet

I’ve always said my piece

And if you think you’re special because I mentioned you here

trust me it’s just left over feelings.

Feelings pass and so do memories

This I know too well

I’ve seen my father age and lose the power I once saw him stand in

I hurt for him everyday because he can’t remember raising me

He doesn’t remember being my number one fan and routing me on when everyone else hated

But love has no time limit or boundary that stops its meaning

My love for my dad will always be

And my love for you was very brief.

So please don’t allow your narcissism to feed off of my delivery

Some things can’t be let go until you write them out and speak an end to it.

Paula Bondeson

DECEMBER 28, 2025

From what I remember

I had it all stored on a phone

Somewhere I thought was permanent

Written in stone

But then one day I found my way deep into laurelgrove

There I snuck into a place that used to be where I called home

What did I find?

Not what I came for

Surely less is sometimes more

But there I lost a piece of me inside that home that used to be mine

There I lost my phone and honestly my pride

But slowly after that day by day I remade what was lost

I gained back all I said I would

Now everyone wants to talk

Can I have this? Can I have that?

Is there anything more you have to give me

Because I know you’re good at that

Well even the giving tree ended up a stump

And if you keep asking I just might give you everything

Until there’s nothing left

But the empty void

I left you with a year ago today

And in this moment I don’t feel so generous

If anything you owe me

But from one’s own heart do they outpour

So I continue to give as if that’s my only stock and store

But one day nothing will be left to give

And just as the giving tree said goodbye as a stump

So I will sit, with nothing left.

Paula Bondeson

December 28, 2025

Such a peaceful morning

With the sun glowing bright

Dew drying on the leaves from yesterdays gloomy light

Something so uncertain about the tree that’s fallen in the yard

Something about the cycle of life has meaning to my soul

Each fallen tree symbolizes a fallen dream

One that I gave up or maybe you too let fall asleep

Tragically as one soul falls another does as well

It’s as though we’re all tied together through one invisible string

Although I can’t feel what you feel

I feel what’s inside of me

And the two can often intertwine if you’re listening

You’ll hear the drops of dew drying and creating a new morning

You’ll see the same sun rise just as I do

But every night as the moon sets

You’ll remember I’m not with you.

Now I rise and fall asleep knowing I am safe

I feel whole as I awake and go sit on my wooden swing

Back and forth I rock along to the beat of my new drum

Every thought is full of gratitude because it’s no longer dependent on you

I’m free to live in solemn and dignified health

I’m free to act as I see fit without the control of an ungodly man

I’m living in a paradise full of love and joy that brings tears to my eyes

Nothing so beautiful did I ever dream was possible

But now I swing in silence writing my hopes and dreams

Creating new wishes that you can’t stomp on when I’m weak

Now I swing along to the creaking of the wood

I hear the cars passing with such an endless rush

But at the same time the birds are chirping in the distance

Squirrels are climbing up the trees

And colored leaves cover the ground

What a beautiful scenery that I can’t take for granted

I’m inviting all that’s good and beneficial while claiming abundance for myself

Paula Bondeson

December 20, 2025

I’m not negative I’m just honest

I’m not disrespectful I’m just assertive

I’m straightforward

I’m the hardest worker you’ve ever met and you let me go

Your loss

You thought you needed everyone else more

But now they’re gone

What do you do with the empty space

That I can’t replace

Because I’m long gone

What do you do once I write a song

And I let myself be free from the toxic space you contained me in 12 hours a day

a place where I was captive to your game

A place where I was never free to be me

May you reap all you sowed and the people who wanted to be successful most drown

If you let yourself fall maybe then you can be found

As I was

Lost in the dark no where to go until I turned to my left and I said hello to the nearest stranger

He echoed back a whisper

Saying if you wish enter but it comes at a price

It comes at a price to all of your lies

And all of the days you took away from me

It comes at the cost you took to please yourself

It comes at the cost you left to my health

May you reap all that you sowed

And those who you hold captive all come to know

That they too can be free from the jealousy and competition that comes with such a mission as collecting funds that never reach their intended destination.

It turns out the cost of leaving has nothing on the money I’ve been bringing in since I left

It turns out a whole city can collapse when the ruler allows each pillar to be chopped and each wage to be capped

It turns out lying to your workers only in turn reflects poorly on your leadership ability

You were only as strongest as your weakest link

And each time you chopped a pillar it did more than you think

To the group.

If you wanted my two cents, here it is, but although you don’t it won’t stop the truth to what I’m speaking

Paula Bondeson

OCTOBER 28, 2024

Two faced

Said one thing to my face

But people talk and I know what you really think

I just think you should know who you’re lying to before you try to pull one over on me

I could definitely surprise you in the worst way

Give me one chance

I’ll tell you exactly how I think

And I’ll even explain to you why you target cute white girls like me and project your mommy issues in the most repulsive ways

I could take half y’all from the old noho house to court over the shit that was stolen and the brutal assaults that I endured

Little baby blue eyes surprised me the most though I must say

Now when he grabbed that knife and waved it in my face

I said damn it

Because I was hoping to be quicker to the punch

But maybe those men who jumped him later that day

Did me a favor and that’s why I didn’t dare speak on that call, when you all wanted me to that day

Why should I defend a man that tried to hurt me

I’ve heard recordings of him threatening to murder my friend in a motel

Yet you all stand arm in arm saying you are brothers

Something evil will always persist in certain groups and numbers

That’s why I found my way down to a new county where I tried to escape the hell I was in for many many months

But something always brings me back

Not quite sure what because it’s definitely not the men

But something about that neighborhood feels like home to me

Maybe because it was the first home known to me that I didn’t have to pretend I was anything but me.

What to do When You’re Feeling Down

Paula Bondeson
DECEMBER 17, 2018

Students are at such an influential age throughout high school and often need guidance from adults. Sometimes fear prevents students from reaching out to classmates, teachers, counselors, and even parents- it is in part the fear that they will not receive what they’re asking for, but much deeper is the fear of rejection. People often look for help in the wrong places. During high school, there is freedom to choose where you seek your help. What is going to get you through high school as you face the unexpected and endure challenging classes? What is going to get you up out of bed at 5am to get ready for school? Motivation is both extrinsic and intrinsic. There are awards, recognition, praise, and acceptance, but also the deep need to find a purpose. Students can find motivation from a variety of sources. The challenges students overcome to find what motivates them will be what makes it last into their adulthood.

Every student enters kindergarten, but grit determines who makes it to graduation and those who go on to pursue a college degree. Life is a pool in which people are constantly swimming upstream. Going through high school without trouble may make you feel successful, but going on to make something of yourself in a career is a completely different idea. Everyone is capable of working hard and achieving their own success in life. High school students are in a stage where they are learning what success means to them and how to get to that point from where they are at.

The moments that happen in high school do not define a person, yet people often give great weight to the gossip their friends share and the numbers in their gradebooks. When something happens that is out of our control and we’re not pleased with it, we should just move on and forgive whoever or whatever hurt us. It’s so pointless to fixate on one event in high school when life consists of a multitude of blessings which students have yet to even experience.

The question is, ‘what can we do right now to make life better for both ourselves and other people?’, and the answer is our purpose. People are going to disappoint you and school isn’t always going to go as you planned, but our struggles are not the highlight of our story. The important events are what people do because of the pain they feel. The moments people cherish are those where they overlooked offenses, forgave the unforgivable, persisted despite of difficulty, and took time for another person in need. With this in mind, let’s make as many memories as we can that are worth remembering!

Where people look for their motivation is vital to their success. When life is difficult it is important to reach out to friends and family who care about you. People must come to the realization that they are never alone. Even though you may be struggling, it will not last forever and there are people who can offer you support.

It is how they react to strong emotions that determines their strength or weakness. However unintentional our choices are, they still define us. People have to be responsible for their own actions even when the circumstance they are in is unfair. Everybody faces adversity, but the degree to which you suffer depends on your ability to bounce back.

People should strive to find purpose in every day. In this moment are you just alive, or are you living a life that you are proud of? If not, take your power back and reclaim control over your life because you are strong. You have a purpose and you will see brighter days the more you look for the light that’s shining in the darkness. When students do what is right, they empower other people to do the same.

Lift your spirit

This blog is for anyone who needs a little lift. I hope to connect with you, spark joy, and remind you that you're not alone in facing life's challenges. Let's find moments of brightness together, even when it seems dark.